It’s something that I resonate with. I feel like I don’t fit in – I never did. I don’t have many friends. I’m always in competition with myself, and feel like I am not good enough. Heck, the friends that I do have, I barely talk to. I am my biggest critic, and I underestimate my skills. I stand out of the crowd.
I’m an introvert. I’m shy, I’m quiet, and I feel like I stand alone. I spend majority of my time locked away in my comfort zone, sorting through a pile of baggage and pessimistic thoughts. The other part of my time is spent talking to my loved ones, and diving into my craft – something that I love.
The other day I was at work, minding my business when one of the professors approached me. He asked me my name, and what I was studying in school. I told him that I was studying Furniture Design, it’s something that’s very dear to me and I feel connected to it. You want to know what he told me? That my career choice has no purpose.
Who would say that to someone? Who would purposely bring someone down, not knowing their story and what keeps their day going. I had to fight back tears and not allow his poison to penetrate me …
It’s so hard and it’s frustrating to know that you’re different. It’s hard for me to listen to outsiders tell me that I’m weird or I’m strange and that what I’m interested in, no one cares about. Some days, it’s hard for me to pick my head up and get out of bed, but I do it anyway. I do it not only because I have to, but because I accept myself for my differences and I love who I am.
Not fitting in. Realizing that you are different and that there is nothing that you do about it. Not fitting in. Seeing life happen around you, and trying to find a place that has your rhythm. Not fitting in. Feeling the eyes of society staring deep into your soul and wondering why you aren’t like everyone else. Not fitting in. Trying to discover who you are, while still loving yourself for your differences.