Not Fitting In

not fitting in

It’s something that I resonate with. I feel like I don’t fit in – I never did. I don’t have many friends. I’m always in competition with myself, and feel like I am not good enough. Heck, the friends that I do have, I barely talk to. I am my biggest critic, and I underestimate my skills. I stand out of the crowd.

I’m an introvert. I’m shy, I’m quiet, and I feel like I stand alone. I spend majority of my time locked away in my comfort zone, sorting through a pile of baggage and pessimistic thoughts. The other part of my time is spent talking to my loved ones, and diving into my craft – something that I love.

The other day I was at work, minding my business when one of the professors approached me. He asked me my name, and what I was studying in school. I told him that I was studying Furniture Design, it’s something that’s very dear to me and I feel connected to it. You want to know what he told me? That my career choice has no purpose.

Who would say that to someone? Who would purposely bring someone down, not knowing their story and what keeps their day going. I had to fight back tears and not allow his poison to penetrate me …

It’s so hard and it’s frustrating to know that you’re different. It’s hard for me to listen to outsiders tell me that I’m weird or I’m strange and that what I’m interested in, no one cares about. Some days, it’s hard for me to pick my head up and get out of bed, but I do it anyway. I do it not only because I have to, but because I accept myself for my differences and I love who I am.

Not fitting in. Realizing that you are different and that there is nothing that you do about it. Not fitting in. Seeing life happen around you, and trying to find a place that has your rhythm. Not fitting in. Feeling the eyes of society staring deep into your soul and wondering why you aren’t like everyone else. Not fitting in. Trying to discover who you are, while still loving yourself for your differences.

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4 Comments

  1. February 9, 2018 / 4:30 PM

    I could have written this myself. I too, don’t fit in. I prefer my own company, and company of my family over any ‘friends’.
    Thank you for sharing. Sometimes it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in my ‘being different’.

    Jemma x

    • suhrell
      Author
      February 9, 2018 / 4:52 PM

      We are in this together. I’m glad that you enjoyed this post.

  2. February 11, 2018 / 1:54 PM

    First of all, I want to talk to this professor who said that your career choice have no purpose!!!!(just a small talk 😏) but, I always say being different is so much better than trying to be like everyone else. Not everyone’s life is the same nor not everyone’s path is the same. And trying please others is a waste of time, God gave you one life to live , and tomorrow isn’t promise. I say Yes , you have a purpose . I remember when I tried to please everyone by become a nurse and putting my writing on hold like wait, what? Why would I do that ? But, life has its funny way of showing how you’ll get to do what you love no matter what anyone says about it. So, here’s to being different And I can’t wait to buy myself one of your designs 😉😉…

    Xoxo,
    Stacey

    • suhrell
      Author
      February 11, 2018 / 1:56 PM

      This means so much to me. And you’re right, we only have one life to live and we have to make ourselves happy. God created us differently for a reason. And stay on the lookout, one of my designs may be available this fall ❤️. Love ya girl.

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